STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
