respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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