I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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