just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize