He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
