Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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