Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
