Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
