i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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