How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Actions speak louder than pants.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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