it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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