well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
