I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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