The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
