i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
