he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
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How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He better not be in your backpack
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Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...