In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
