nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
