so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
