Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
