What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
