they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
