This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
