Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
