I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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