Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
