Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Come share oat with me in your robe
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
