I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
