I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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