the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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