Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
