Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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