yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
too bad you live with your parents still
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
