apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath