I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
People Share What It’s Really Like to Date Long Distance
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
These Little Things Make People Overly Angry
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this