You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
