Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
