Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my sisters under your porch take her home
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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