she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My feet surprised me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
