too bad you live with your parents still
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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