Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
