My hair reeks of homosexuality.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Randomize
