I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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