thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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