I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
