shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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