I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
