yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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