How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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