Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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