Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She even gives head with a lisp.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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