But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
operation have a gay friend backfired
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
