how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
