i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize