He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
