maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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