he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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