i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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