She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
