You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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