you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
